This check-up’s on the house. ;)

Congrats, Cloudchaser, on winning a date with Hammock!
Face it, tiger. You just won the jackpot. ;)
Message me to claim your prize.
To everypony who liked and reblogged; don’t worry, I’m saving some sugar for you another day. Happy Hearts & Hooves! <3

Congrats, Cloudchaser, on winning a date with Hammock!

Face it, tiger. You just won the jackpot. ;)

Message me to claim your prize.

To everypony who liked and reblogged; don’t worry, I’m saving some sugar for you another day. Happy Hearts & Hooves! <3

ask-the-genie-pony:

You will get what you desire for being very nice about wishing,instead of demanding and commanding me.

Yesyesyes!

Hammock freezes suddenly, realizing that there’s a chance somepony he knows might see him. He runs a hoof through his mane, setting it back in order. 

"Uh. I mean. Thanks. That’s cool."

Anonymous said: Weird Anon Question: If a mare who had cancer and all she want was to pop her you know what >w>... And she wanted you to do it... Will you do it for a dying wish? >w>

“Woah, let’s back up a few steps here. A mare who has cancer and has never had sex before is also still a mare. She’s got a personality and feelings and stuff. If she was going to live forever, but wanted to have sex for the first time with me for whatever other reasons - like ‘cause I’m hot, or ‘cause she knew from my videos that I’m good at it - she’d have the same chances of getting a yes if we click.”

"So yeah, I probably would, unless we totally didn’t get along, but phrasing it like that makes it seem like that’d be the only reason, you know? And that’s just not how sex works for me outside of my film work.”

Anonymous said: 5, 22, 23, 25, 30

5. Are you a virgin?

image

23. What are some of your favorite physical characteristics for your crush to have?

“Expressive faces, long legs, large wings, athletic – that stuff’s nice, but like I said, it’s not really important. …I dunno when I stopped caring about that sorta thing. Probably ‘cause I see so much of the ‘ideal body’ stuff in porn. It gets kinda boring if everypony looks like that all the time. Or not boring, but, not something that stands out as a favourite or anything.”

25. Do you think that you’re a good kisser?

image

“But you don’t have to take my word for it, if you come off anon and ask real nicely” Hammock points to his face and winks.

30. What’s something that always turns you on?

“When whoever I’m with is really, really into the moment! There’s nothing better than that. That and - uh I dunno if it has a specific name, but, being really wanted, and playing with the power of that role. But only if the partner or partners is into that sorta power play. Otherwise it’s more frustrating than fun for them, and that’s not cool.”

ice-blitz said: 1, 3, 22

1. Who was your first kiss and what was it like?

“Her name was Sassaflash. We were in the same grade nine theatre class together. Her coat was my favourite sorta turquoise-blue. She always had her head in the clouds, but when I was on stage she never took her eyes off me.” Hammock smiles. “We kissed behind the curtain one day after class. It was awesome.”

3. Do you have a crush?

“Nope. But you guys’ll be the first to know if I ever do.” Hammock says, adding a cheeky wink to the end.

22. What’s your “type”?

“Uh. Into me?” Hammock laughs. “I find large wings really hot, and athleticism, and really long legs, but I don’t really have a ‘type’. Hotness is more about the pony – or gryphon, or zebra. S’about how they work what they got, y’know? And personality is huge. I love it when somepony can still play and doesn’t take themselves too seriously.”

ask-chiffon-chemise said: 2, 16, 27?

2. Are you in a relationship? If so, are you happy?

"Nope! Single and cool with it. It lets me enjoy the company of other ponies without getting all mixed up in drama," Hammock grins. "An’ besides, if I was with somepony, they’d have to be okay with what I do to pay the rent, and they’d have to be okay with me being flirty, and being… Uh, what did Fancy call it? …Uh. Non-magnanimous? Non-maganamous? Open to me doing sexy stuff with other ponies and being able to talk about it and whatever. And that’s… Well that takes a special somepony.”

16. Have you ever loved someone on a romantic level?

“I’ve loved a lot, actually. Been in about eight relationships – nine if you count that one fling in Appleoosa – nine and a half if you count that letters-based one when I was at Las Pegasus Secondary…” Hammock shakes his head. “I wouldn’t count that one though. It was more like, I dunno, loving an idea?”

27. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

"Not that I know of!"

Banana Hammock is a buff earth pony living in Manehattan, working in porn, and trying to become a famous actor.

Fancy Flank is his long-time best friend, and personal stylist to some of Las Pegasus' rich & famous.

Skype: BananaHammockPony

This blog is SFW. PG-13 for flirtation, some swearing, risqué jokes, and adult themes.

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